Screech in need of Scratch

I could not resist post­ing some­thing about this story from USA Today.  It seems Dustin Dia­mond, a.k.a. Screech from the show “Saved by the Bell,” is sell­ing T-shirts to keep his home out of fore­clo­sure.  Was this taken from a left­over script of the show?  He is try­ing to sell 30,000 shirts at $15.00 each to keep the man from rip­ping his mort­gage back from him?  Are you seri­ous?  I know this guy is a come­dian now so maybe this is just a bit, but who would have thought that this Bay­side High alum would be in such a quandary?  And where are Zack Mor­ris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Kopowski, and the rest of the gang when Screech needs them?  Is Zack going to come up with a scheme to move these shirts by offer­ing to take the “nerdy girl with the rich dad” to the dance, only to fail when his con­science gets the best of him?  Will A.C. enter a push up con­test to build pub­lic­ity for poor Samuel Pow­ers?  Will Jessie turn into Vegas show girl…oh wait, that idea already bombed.  And where does Lisa Tur­tle come in?  What about Mr. Beld­ing and Miss Bliss or that weird guy from the sum­mer camp where the entire cast man­aged to get jobs?  Sell­ing T-shirts?  What about a real­ity show?  I mean if that guy who lost on the appren­tice, for­mer mem­bers of “The Real World,” and Gary Cole­man can get on a show, can’t Screech?  Maybe you could put Screech, Skippy Han­del­man, Hor­shack, Carol Seaver, and Punky Brew­ster on a Raft headed south, Huck Finn Style.  Each week, some­body is cast off into the mighty Mis­sis­sippi.  They can explore the towns, gam­ble in the river­boats, and drift along aim­lessly fight­ing about who had the great­est career.  The finale takes place in New Orleans, where the win­ner gets a parade down Bur­bon Street…  It beats T-shirts.  If only he had spent a lit­tle less time with Zack and A.C. and a lit­tle more time hit­ting the books, poor Screech might have enjoyed a dif­fer­ent fate.  Alas, Screech is now sell­ing shirts, get yours today.  For an extra 5 bucks he will sign it for you.  Oh yeah, and a funny side note.  They even had to change the spelling of Screech to Screeech on the shirts to avoid lit­i­ga­tion.  Will Screech be saved by the bell?  I really hope so.  Stay tuned.

USATODAY.com — ‘Screech’ actor turns to fans for help